Duo's Horrible Nightmare
by Meri Winner
Summary: Duo had sugar. And watched 24 hours of anime. You can just imagine the results. =^.~=


Duo's Horrible Nightmare 

Duo's Horrible Nightmare

  
*yawn* "Now that's how to run a marathon!" Duo said, turning off the TV. Cartoon Network had run a 24 hour marathon of old anime shows when fans had requested it. He soon fell asleep. Ed, Edd, and Eddy could do that to anybody!

Duo woke up and stretched. "Mmm. That was a good nap!" He looked around. "Hey... did Quatre paint the room red? OH MY GOD! IT'S AESHA! Aesha! Wake up!"

"Huh?" Quatre yawned, but it was more of a purr. He clamped a fuzzy paw over his mouth. "Nani?! I sound like a girl!"

"What's with you?" Duo asked.

"I... I dunno. Who are you?"

"I'm Duo. Duo Maxwell. I may run and hide, but I never lie!"

"You don't look like Duo. He has a braid."

Duo felt behind his head. "WHERE'S MY BRAID?!?!?" Duo's scream woke someone else. Heero shot up, which wasn't very far. Seeing four strangers, he reached for his gun, only to find it wasn't there.

"Omae o korosu," he said flatly.

"Hey! How you doing Jim? You know what?" Duo said to the short blonde kid, "You sound just like my buddy Heero. Well, maybe except for the voice..."

"It's me, baka." Heero gasped as he heard himself. Just then, the three heard a feminine voice coming from behind them.

'_HELP!!! I can't breathe!'_

"Hey! It's Melfina! Isn't she a babe?" Duo asked Heero.

'_It's me! Trowa! Where am I? HELP!!!' _he thought and gasped for air, only to find it was possible to breathe in that blue stuff.

"Trowa?! You don't look like Trowa," Quatre... er- Aesha... said, very confused.

'_What do you mean?'_

"Look at yourself," Heero replied.

"Eeep!" He was in some girl's body, clad in purple spandex. _'What's going on?!? And who are you people?'_

"No idea what's going on, but I'm Quatre, the short one's Heero, and the redhead is Duo."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I'm an ONNA!" Wufei yelled. Or shrieked, your call. He was in a very pale, but strong, woman's body.

"Well we know which one's Wufei."

"Gene, who is Wufei? He isn't under my crew list."

"Who's that?!" Trowa and Quatre screamed.

"I'm Gilliam II, the computer. What's wrong with Aesha and Melfina, Jim?" No answer. "Jim?" Still no answer. "You there, the short blonde kid?"

"WHAT?!" Heero roared.

"There's an incoming message from a Miss Winner."

"**_That_** onna. How did I know that weakling was behind this?"

"Because she always is," Duo replied, making Wufei mad. 

"Hello? Gene? Redheaded tall man?" 

"Oh! That's me! Yeah, put her on." 

"Hey boys! You like your new bodies?" 

"I look like a cat," Quatre said flatly. 

"Soooo...?" 

"Why are we here, woman?" Wufei asked. 

"Well, since **_you_** destroyed Treize, I decided Lady Une needed a new boyfriend. Hey, what are best friends for?" 

"Don't know. Why aren't you here?" Heero asked, trying to give me his best death glare. And failed. Miserably. 

"Because YOU killed him!" 

"Oh." 

"Who the heck are we?" Quatre asked. 

"Well, you're Aesha. She's a Ctarl-Ctarl and can transform into a tiger when angry. Trowa is Melfina, the ship's navigational system. Wufei is Twilight Suzuka, a professional assassin. Heero's Jim Hawking, an 11 year old genius, and Duo's Gene Starwind. He's annoying, loud, obnoxious, and in love with Melfina." Trowa shuddered. "You're in the Outlaw Star. Your mission is to go and find Lady Une a boyfriend." 

"May we go home?" Quatre pleaded. 

"Not until you complete your mission. Ja'ne! Love ya!" 

"I get to kill her when we get home," Heero said. 

"Noooooo! Don't kill her!" The others gave Quatre evil looks. "Umm... please?" 

"We should get this over with," Wufei said, sulking. 

"How? We don't know how to start the ship!" 

"I do! I love this show!" Duo yelled. "Trowa- stay in the tube. Quatre and Wufei, sit at the joysticks on the sides. Heero, you go in front of me." 

"What do you do?" 

"STEER!!!" 

"Last will and testament:-" Heero began as the ether and sub ether drive systems came online. 

"I only know three people she might like. Let's go check out the one named Fred Lowe." The flight seemed to last forever. When they finally arrived on the planet, Gene... er- Duo... led them to his place. 

"Gene! Welcome!" the man yelled, giving Duo a bear hug. 

"Can't... breathe..." Duo gasped. 

"Oh sorry. What can I do for you boys?" he asked as he picked Heero up and swung him in a circle. Heero aimlessly stumbled for a while, then collapsed in a corner. 

"Fred, are you single?" 

"He'd have to be..." Wufei muttered. 

"You wanna go out? I know a nice bar around here..." 

o.O "No thanks. Adios!" Duo said as he shoved everyone out the door. 

"He's GAY?!? You brought us to a GAY guy?!? Mer would kill us!" Heero and Wufei screamed when they left the building. 

"...?..." Quatre just stared at a wall while banging his head on it. "I can't believe I just heard that!" he moaned. Trowa just sighed. 

"Who's next?" Heero reluctantly asked. 

"Harry McDougall." 

"Is he gay?" 

"No. Just sensitive." 

"Can I kill him?" 

"No!" 

"Can I kill you?" 

"No!" 

"Find someone else." 

"Fine, Mr. Picky. How about his older brother?" 

"Name. 

"Ronald McDougall." 

"Gay?" 

"No." 

"Sensitive?" 

"No." 

"Good." 

"Mess up and I'll cut your braid off with my katana," Wufei said. Trowa sighed. Quatre banged his head against the wall some more. Moving... it's... ears, he jumped at the others, knocking them down as a blaster destroyed part of the wall. 

"Gene Starwind! Face me!" a very ticked male voice called. No answer. 

"Oh yeah! That's me!" Duo yelled, getting up and pulling out his castor. "Hey- you single? I know a girl who'd just love you!" 

"...?..." 

"Her name's Lady Une and if she likes you, she'll follow your every move." 

"Okay. I'm still gonna kill you!" he cried, sending ahead his two panther-like weapons. One went for Heero and Quatre. Quatre roared and turned into the tiger beast. He overpowered the mechanical monster. The other went for Wufei. He started squealing like a little girl and ran around in circles until he remembered Suzuka had a weapon. He took out the large stick and proceeded to screech like a sissy while whacking the cat. Getting confused, he then went for Quatre. And got the snot beat out of him. Quatre then went for Ron McDougall. 

"No Quatre! Wait!" 

"What?" 

"Don't kill him or we'll be stuck here forever! Call Meri!" 

"How?" 

"Don't you and Trowa do that mind thingy? Do it! Sometime before those cats start waking up!" 

He concentrated. I walked through the veil of time to visit. "Hey! How's the search going?" 

"Is that her?" the McDougall brother asked. 

"Ronald McDougall? Good choice! For a minute there, I was worried she'd end up with Fred or something!" The guys looked nervously at each other. I reached back through the veil and grabbed Une. "Here she is!" She walked up to Ron and nodded in approval, giving me a thumbs up. The guys were changed back. Suzuka was stunned, Aesha snoozed, Jim got his case of weaponry out, and Melfina ran from the sparking machines. The real Gene pulled out his Castor to kill Ron when Lady slapped him. Twilight Suzuka walked over to her. 

"I think we'll be good friends..." 

  
Duo woke up. He stretched. "Hmm... what a crazy dream..." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Meri: you like? 

Quatre: Why?!? Why me?!? Why always me, God?!? *bangs head on wall* 

Trowa: *still stunned* *stares at wall* 

Heero: Omae o korosu. *pulls out gun* 

Meri: *zaps him with lightning bolt* 

Heero: *fried* Owwie! 

Meri: Owwie?!? *Meri & Wufei laugh* 

Duo: *singing & dancing* I drove the ship! I drove the ship! Yay! I drove the ship! 

Quatre: *still traumatized* *bangs head on wall* 

Trowa: *stares* 

Heero: *crispy* 

Wufei: *laughing* 

Duo: *singing & dancing* 

Meri: Ummm... yeah. I'll take that as a 'yes.' *shoves them through plothole* Gotta work on my other fic! Ja'ne minna! 


End file.
